女人不易做

Finally reunited with my Faye Wong CD after 8 years. I spent the past 8 years trying to get a replacement, but it was out of print. Was convinced that good things  come by only once, and once lost it never returns. Proven wrong!

Parents’ inability to live with each other’s habits convince me that cohabitation (without sex) before marriage might be useful. Singlehood dont sound too bad an option either. Mum thinks cohabitation without sex is impossible. I agree. :X  But we should have more faith in morality sometimes. Ha.

Isn’t it sad when you realise, half your life gone, that you don’t actually derive much happiness in marriage? And because of the kids, the house, the joint savings account, the things others say, you can’t turn back. You can’t opt out. Too much is at stake.

Does marriage necessarily signify the death of love? Sometimes I am compelled to believe that. And the fact that women are expected to shoulder most domestic responsibilities even when they work full-times makes me sick. I saw this lady on the bus and she was lugging a laptop bag, her handbag and bagfuls of groceries while looking considerably glam at the same time. She looked well groomed, but wore a slightly tired looking face. And I’m inclined to believe she’s this superwoman model of a working mum because she’s obliged to: bound by her marriage and kids, not that she wants to be like this.

Quite a heavy entry today… but all is not lost because men who see the need and are willing to share domestic responsibilities with their wives still exist!  Endangered, but not extinct. My mum waxes lyrical about her colleagues’ husbands everyday because they belong to this elite species while my father, sadly, doesn’t.

Sometimes I think I’m spoilt rotten by my parents.

My papa has enthusiastically stashed several NTUC recycling bags in our luggage so he could “help carry my shopping”.

And he pays for all the shopping too….

My mummy says she’ll treat me to Ah Mei’s concert because I’m “not earning any money”.

Aww i love them to bits.

告诉自己， 要惜福啊。

tribute to my father Mr Poh

mUAHAHA… MInd the paunch!!

身边的天使

老爸（又再）出国，为了省电我和老妈一起睡。 本以为会很不习惯，因为我尝试过跟他一起睡午觉，可是睡不着，要一个人才行。

所以， 一向来都是妹妹陪她睡的。

长这么大了，偶尔和妈妈同床睡，感觉是很微妙的。

有时候，只有在最近的距离才能看到妈妈的苍老和一天天的衰弱。

别误会，她没病。 可我看到了她的累。几十年了，又工作又要打理家务事， 当女人不容易啊。

男人养家，下班了大可以了无牵挂，坦荡荡出去会猪朋觅狗友。像我老爸一样，每周总有几天不回家吃饭。不是加班，是“有人请我吃饭”。老妈说： “你不如不要回家吃饭好了。每天都出去吃啦。”

大鱼大肉的，再美味到头来都是味精作祟， 哪像老妈煮的菜，菜的美味都是一点一点的爱心酝酿而成的。

每天都看老妈她在忙碌着。可我不是每天都如此深切的感恩。她的青春都被我们一点一点的掠夺了，可是她无怨无悔。 还是付出，只有付出。

打到这里，我的眼眶有点湿了。近来，脑海中偶尔会浮现老爸/老妈离我而去的画面。 只是很快的闪过，我便逼自己把那种不祥的想象放下。事后又想想。。 这个画面迟早会实现，人生无常嘛。可是这画面带给我的悲伤和孤独感，大得吓人。 光是想，就令我的心凉了一大半。

所以，一直告诉自己要把握时间和机会报答父母的养育之恩。每一分每一秒都不能忘， 因为谁都不晓得，他们会在那一分哪一秒离我而去。

这个周末你要去哪里？不要再往外跑了。留在家里陪陪一直都在等你、守护着你的妈妈吧。

i feel really blessed to have such a supportive and fun family. they never fail to make me laugh and smile and feel safe and happy.

but that makes me feel guilty for not living up to their expectations.

有去台北的冲动。