Been reading “Never hit a Jellyfish with a Spade” by Guy Browning. Not advisable to read it on public transport lest you want amused stares at your cackling out loud.
It’s a compilation of How-to articles in the Weekend Guardian.
My faves from that book:
“Imagine you were just minding your own business when a small primate landed on your back and demanded to go somewhere. That’s how a horse feels when you decide to ride on it.”
— How to… ride a horse
“Women have a much deeper and more intense relationship with ice cream than they do with men. That’s because with ice cream you get a lot more variety and a greater sense of physical satisfaction.”
— How to… eat ice cream
“One of the quickest ways of appearing deep is to say ‘Or is it?’ after somebody else has said something. Or is it?
You can get a similar effect simply by transposing the key elements in any sentence. For example, when someone says, ‘Women are the power in the home,’ you could immediately reply with, ‘Yes, but home is the power in the woman’. Just make sure there isn’t anyone even deeper in range who then might chip in with, ‘I think you’ll find that power is the home of women’.
Another excellent way of showing how complex and brainy you are is by answering any question with the phrase, ‘It depends what you mean by that’. Don’t use this phrase too much, otherwise someone might just turn round and say, ‘What do you mean by meaning?’ You’ll then be at such a depth that your head might implode with the pressure.”
— How to… be deep
Kept me suitably entertained on otherwise-boring train rides. Had to implode silently though, my poor face screwing up like a prune.
Here’s a list of things I want and need to do, now that i’ve submitted my pesky assignment …
- write 2 months overdue internship report
- watch infinity months overdue DVDs
- read library books
- jog a little? I was sprinting home to watch 争分夺秒 yesterday, and for the first time in my life, I sensed the presence of my butt!!! Thanks to the lack of exercise, I now have a butt! One step closer to being a professional couch potato.
- interview people for my research paper on meditation
- visit 佛牙寺、 莲山双林寺
- check out travel destinations ( i have a one-month break!)
- watch inane cable programmes
- Buy 张震岳’S Latest CD (oh i just got my pay from KMS so i feel slightly richer, though it’s very much just delusion on my part)
- Go macritchie reservoir and labrador park to
feed myself to mosquitoesexplore the wondrous creations of Mother Nature
- Find some ways of making money. I currently have more than enough for sustenance but I’m conditioned to think ‘enough is never enough’ so i fret when i see my account balance slowly draining away. Such is samsara！