As the whole world knows, my parents very much let me do what I want. I neednt tell them my whereabouts and I can come and go any time I wish. No need to ask for permission. No expectations imposed on me. I am as free as a bird. (Of course, being the good girl I am, I take the initiative to report my movements to them)

My freedom index has taken a slight plunge lately, with mummy expressing more than once  that I need to find a boyfriend, fast. The fact that I declared some time ago that I don’t wish to get married has sent both mummy and papa off their rockers. Mummy made a long discourse along the lines of how I wouldnt have someone to take care of me when I’m old. Papa keeps assuring me, in all seriousness, he’ll help take care of the kids in future. THE KIDS! *palms forehead*

It’s peer pressure, I tell you. Mummy has a colleague whose 3 daughters are all attached.  She hears stories about how their boyfriends go to future-mother-in-law’s for dinner and is probably feeling a wistful sense of nonfulfillment from my lack of a boyfriend.

I feel slightly sorry for making them worry (prematurely), since my declaration was made half in jest. Woops.

But they’re overreacting, lor. I’m barely 21! What’s more, getting a boyfriend now won’t guarantee I’ll be taken care of for the rest of my life.

Maybe all I need to do to stem their needless worry is to pay lip service and say “Ok la ok la, I will get married”. And honestly, my mum should stop mixing with bad company.

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Etc

Waiting for dinner to be ready. Fantastic dinner smells already wafting into my room. Dessert today is durian. I’m a lucky not-so-little girl, despite the fact that I have a backache-inducing 3-hour exam tomorrow. Studied for it feebly.

Be cycling and sea-watching at ECP tomorrow with Che. Need endorphins more than anything. Hope The Kite Runner doesnt end its run too quickly; it’ll be such a shame to watch it on small screen.

Went for a 2-hour workshop titled “Awareness Through Drama” yesterday at Bras Basah. Was fun and quite endorphins-producing. We were made to walk around the room in different ways, and I found myself walking towards spots with the least people. I seldom stayed stationary even though we were allowed to. We were also allowed to copy others’ actions and I found myself choosing only to imitate very nuanced actions of others’ on the sly. I got a chance to do some actions that the group was supposed to follow and I relished every nanosecond of the attention I received, however shortlived it was. I still crave to be a leader more than a follower, I guess.

Quite amazing to see how “events” can happen so naturally. A circle/line/cluster made up of 30 people would fall into place in 5 seconds, as if by magic.

Have signed up for these two sessions next month:

  • 6 Thu
    A BEAUTIFUL LIFE – The JOY OF SPIRITUAL DISCOVERY

Talk cum Q & A session by Sylvia Bay, Dharma Teacher

As we live day after day and year after year, how do we find meaning in living? As we brave through the up’s and down’s of life, how can Buddhist practices help us find the deeper meaning of our being? Let Sylvia bring you through the Buddha’s rendition of a meaningful life and discover your own beautiful life.

  • 20 Thu
    buddhist backpacker’s series: The HAPPINESS that is Bhutan

Sharing by Elaine Sng, PR practitioner

The isolated and peaceful kingdom of Bhutan, where Vajrayana Buddhism is the state religion, had been shrouded in mystery for many years. Sandwiched between two of the hungriest and fastest growing nations, India & China, Bhutan faces threat of globalisation and modernisation. Intrigued by the fact that life seems to be still simple, despite external influences, and that Gross National Happiness is still valued over Gross Domestic Product, Elaine painstakingly saved up for a trip to the Land of the Thunder Dragon.

I love the Buddhist Backpacker’s Series and I wish they could have it at least once a month! Terribly eye-and-mind-opening.

Wondering if I should go for this one too, since I will most prolly face many a dilemma, working in worse than normal zero-ethics industries in future:

  • 27 Thu
    Applying Buddhism@work: avoid evil, do good, get ahead!

    Sharing by Siew Chee Hoe, Regional Manager & Yap Ching Wi, Buddhist Youth Worker

Chee Hoe will discuss common dilemmas faced when applying Budddhism at work – applying the 5 precepts (moral guiding principles); the importance of reputation and deciding between being active and passive. Chee Hoe will draw on his personal experiences and his expertise as a Trainer to offer insights and practical tips. Ching Wi will reflect on her career development and offering lessons learnt in areas of ethics, faith and courage. Come and decide if theirs are the winning ways to get ahead.

 

哎呀 反正我也没什么闲情逸致坐在床上懒懒的写日记了 索性在这儿写吧

一天下来 除了吃饭睡觉看电视上厕所 就是杵在电脑前面 试图用呆滞的眼神 催眠一个小时只增加10个的文字自动繁殖 最后只得到四个字:白费力气  用没滑鼠的laptop 掌纹都快磨没了 

好想大喊 也好想"撒手人寰" 对着那份该死的报告说"去你的 你这个阴魂不散的死东西 快下地狱吧!"然后昏庸的大声狂笑三分钟

噢我的妈 三天时间怎么显得既漫长又短暂啊 巴不得快点过去 就算给我再多时间 我也会读得很痛苦 咦 我两天前悲天悯人的高尚情操好像被狗吃了 

朋友似乎快不行了 我为她担心 心疼 她念的科系怎么那么空前绝后的苦啊? 如果我跟她兑换位置 不知道会闹出何等惊天地泣鬼神的悲剧/闹剧/喜剧来

L,希望你最后能够熬过来 取得甘甜的胜利

 

记于2月20日 深夜

and there i go

i guess i am obsessed

with what’s not there

your fleeting shadows tell me so

they always do the vanishing act

but

once more, once more, i go

like a child at the circus show

wide-eyed at how the wind blows

 

the wind whispered one day

told me i really shouldn’t care

because you’re not really there

you are the wind

you come and go

 

don’t really know

i don’t really know

what lies

beyond the touch

the breath, and the heartbeat

its careless rhythm

 

drowsy

late mornings and the lukewarm sun

again you appear in my drunken dreams

i could have opened my eyes

and see the light, like they always say

but no,

once more, once more, i always go

like a child at the circus show

faltering at the thought of your glow

初十五团圆饭

We had it in advance!

It’s been so long since my house was filled to the brim with people.

copy-of-p1050839.jpg

Look how happy my father is. He’s all red from the alcohol.

We all realised that we should keep in touch more often, not just on occasions like CNY.

Had a long chat with cousin, I’ve never talked this much before despite knowing him my entire life.

Lurve.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyvun.

If you’d like to profess your love to someone here’s a cute way to do it: http://bureauofcommunication.com/compose/romanticintent

Went for wsdp at Bras Basah with mum and sis. It’s my second time hearing Sister Sylvia Bay speak and she’s such a good speaker!

Some quotes:

 “Love is a feeling. Period. A feeling that arises in the presence of something.”

“Where there’s a very strong hate, there’s a very strong want.”

“The more you think about yourself, the less time you have for others.”

“Pain is due to two things: unmet expectations and attachment to the good feelings you get when you’re in love.”

Hmm. I should stop letting soppy love songs like 氧气 (如果你爱我 你会来找我 你会知道我 快不能活) jeopardize my sanity.

Looked in the mirror that day and saw that my nose is too big for my own good.