“Speak only if it improves on silence”

In speaking, some people allow themselves to fall into exaggeration and inaccuracy, and they make little things into enormous stories; surely that is not right speech. They also have the idea that when one meets a friend one must keep talking all the time, or the friend will be hurt.

With the idea of seeming smart, they keep up a stream of constant half-joking or sneering talk, and must always be showing everything in a ridiculous or amusing aspect.

Certainly all that comes under the heading of idle words.

– Ashin Thittila
1896 – 1997

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New Readers

Oh my oh my! I have a new 偶像! I am absolutely awestruck… 😛

You might find this hard to believe, but Bodhisattvas are reading my blog.

Within 24 hours of my bitchy post, I saw the Louisa May Alcott quote, and heard people say/tell me all this, in chronological order:

  • Ching Wi, at Dharma-In-Action meeting: “When we do Buddhist youth work, we must be happy doing it, right? What’s our motivation for doing all this?”
  • Indian taxi driver who loves dogs and has to answer phone calls every two minutes while driving me from PKS to City Hall for SPLAT! meeting: “Do social service ah, must be happy. No point pulling a long face mah.”
  • Debbie, giving me a lift to PKS from Dana Citta: “It’s funny how we feel uncomfortable when there’s no work and when we actually find work to do, we complain.”
  • Augustine, during SPLAT! meeting: “Why do you want to help youths-at-risk?”

They are my Bodhisattvas! If not, Bodhisattvas read my blog and sent these people to me to make me stop and think. And stop and think I will.

越战越勇

In life, there are always some things that you love doing and some that you would rather eat a sock than do. And I get such a kick from successfully doing things that I hate! Victory is mine! My moments of glory deserve more than a passing mention.

I shall list down my (ever increasing) aversions and triumphantly strike them off as I overcome these demons. COME LA, COME! I am ever-ready for a good fight!

  1. cold-call volunteers for 水陆法会
  2. cold-call clients to remind them of counselling appointments
  3. cold-call Buddhist youth groups (Is there anyone on this Earth who enjoys cold-calling?!)
  4. not feel disgust when people pile me up with work, thinking that they are the only dish on my plate and that I am obliged to do their work. I know I’ll get lots of bad karma just by thinking this, but I really should start charging them for my services. (EDIT: OMG how 邪门is this, after posting this entry I saw this quote on my daily feed:
    Louisa May Alcott
    Money is a needful and precious thing—and, when well used, a noble thing—but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for.
    Hmm… food for thought. Maybe I am really 财迷心窍。:(
  5. Build rapport with senior volunteers (most are really cute and lovable. most.)
  6. not flare up at ignorant, wishy washy, 没见过世面,ngiao-yet-won’t-admit, time-wasting person (unless rolling my eyes at the LCD monitor incessantly and cursing under my breath – incessantly, too – counts)
  7. not bitch about her to others (unless this counts)
  8. not bitch about over-dependent, buay zidong people with no initiative (omg unless this counts, too! What a good way to bitch yet appear that I’m just “overcoming my aversions”! These people remain anonymous, anyway. Should I blame my own over-independence? Why do I feel like I’m looking after a bunch of helpless kids?)
  9. get butt down to SPLAT!‘s Website Revamp
  10. Not cringe when I see people whom I can’t stand

I’ve got a few more battles to fight but let’s just revel in my impressive victories for now!

The Itch

I come online with the noble aspiration to do constructive work that would benefit fellow human beings but end up itching to bitch on my blog instead.

Tsk.

P.S.: After spending some time doing work (searching for quotes for Diary 2553) I decided to master my own mind instread of letting it master me by not firing off a time-wasting, karma-ruining tirade. What a triumph!

Inferno

I hope I didn’t roll my eyes when somebody asked “You have nothing to do at home anyway right?” when she learnt that I’ll be a temp staff at KMSPKS for three weeks.

Am fighting fires with a water hose that seems to be spewing gasoline instead of water. The fiery tongues of the inferno shall lick at me on 15 November. It’s the deadline for SPLAT!’s website revamp, set by Slavedriver Dominic, who’s turning me into a formatting purist.

Yes, he’s the ultra-anal sort who can tell the difference between 15% and 20% grey shading for table cells, and go on to tell you the “standard” is 25% grey.

I used to type my emails in all small letters but now I raise a cynical eyebrow at emails with bad punctuation, distasteful fonts, worse grammar than mine, and slipshod formatting. And I’d be quite happy to reply them with the same lackadaisical attitude. If I ever reply, that is.

I can’t wait to go to the States; away from all my commitments here. I don’t think I have “too many” commitments, but I guess I raised my bosses’ expectations a little too high for my own good. It’s scary how they trust me so implicitly to produce good work all the time; on time. I know I am capable, but I’m afraid I’m not talented superhuman. I shall be firm in saying no. And stop spoiling my own market by giving good work all the time. But the mere thought of churning out substandard work even for my own interests disturbs me. What a classic case of cognitive dissonance! I never knew I was such a perfectionist.

Shall retire for the night at an exceptionally early 11.08pm. The work can wait. Oh wait, they can’t. But I don’t want to go through kidney dialysis in future.

P.S.: 心晴大动员 is probably one of MediaCorp’s best programmes this year. Watch it on Channel 8, 8pm on Mondays. Kudos to Singapore Turf Club for sponsoring it. (They need the good karma anyway.)