for the past half hour i felt a sense of bliss from having nothing to do.
am waiting for papa to feed me with horfun, 10pm HK drama to start, and 1130pm to ogle at jerry yan. why does he always look so hot? “yuan daying” irritated the hell out of me at his first match – i would have dragged him out of the court if i were his teammate/coach!!
am in the mood to sing KTV and watch movies.
i dont really like my bitchy self – and many times i try too hard to be clever. life just whizzes by; there isn’t even time for regrets. sometimes i feel i’ve had enough of these incessant cycles of ups and downs and am glad the Buddha taught how we can get out of this mess. do i really want to be in samsara forever? it’s just a grand, filthy, awful mess. i live in a constant state of dissatisfaction – one moment i’m laughing and the other moment i roll my eyes. do i really want to do this forever?