CNY 2012

doesn’t seem to be ending any time soon! In fact, it seems to be just starting for me.

Over the next two weeks, I will be attending six steamboat/dinner gatherings. I have a newfound respect for vegetarians who can maintain their composure amid the feasting, especially if they are dining with omnivores.

Now that I have a boyfriend, family elders and cousins have been asking about the wedding. I’m not in much of a hurry, as Pupsie has yet to start work and we are still unable to agree on what kind of flat to get. I want a 4-room, maximum 5-room, but he wants an Executive apartment. I am more inclined towards BTOs (the name doesn’t make any sense to me, btw) but he likes resale flats for their bigger size. Resale flats tend to be in better locations and are bigger, but I still prefer having more spare cash to save and spend. Oh well this is an oft repeated and never-ending debate. Too early to tell for now.

I feel quite paisay to be at the receiving end of angbaos at this age. Doesn’t feel very good taking cash from retirees and aunties who’ve already spent a lot on CNY food.

PM Lee’s call for more dragon babies baffles me. All the past calls for more babies have baffled me. I cannot comprehend how more babies or Singaporeans in the future would automatically lead to a better economy and less foreigners. What if they become a liability to society, which is a real possibility with some parents not prepared to raise kids? How many Singaporeans are willing to do jobs that the foreigners are doing now – build condos, wash dishes, make coffee, wait tables?

Stripping away all societal norms and family expectations, I realise I cannot think of a good reason to have kids. It could stem from my subconscious inadequacy and fear towards the Herculean task of raising them into sensible, compassionate human beings who will not piss the hell out of me. But I’ve spoken to some married people and they tell me you will know it when you know it.

Off to Pup’s house for dinner.

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I just have to say

I am mightily proud of all my friends. They inspire me in more ways than I can imagine.

I am grateful to be able to learn from them – how they give of themselves, how they try their hardest to overcome shit in their lives, how they try their best to be kind even towards the unkind – it is not so much how they do it, but the spirit that spurs them.

Isn’t life amazing? Life brings us friends whom we can learn from. Friends to laugh and cry with us. Friends that just open up your world.

Eric, Dicky and Linda, I am inspired by you.

 

Am feeling sort of lousy for having stayed in bed too long and for being mean to Puppy yesterday night.

I hope he isn’t too traumatised. I don’t know what came over me. It was a temporary mood glitch, then I became normal again.

The more time we spend together, the more we’ll reveal our hidden selves. Brace yourself for mine, Puppy. 😛

Our relationship has been rosy for the past five months (how time flies!) but I’m sure kinks will start to form and dissatisfaction over all sorts of things will surface.. it’s only natural isn’t it? I’ll need Puppy to iron them out with me and I find comfort in knowing that we both believe in open communication, and that we don’t need to be similar beings in order to be in love.

Was at forty hands cafe with Niki and Ching Wi and we chatted about how we see ourselves in five years’ time. I’ve had a relatively smooth sailing time and I told them quite frankly I don’t have a plan. Things just happen to me; chances come, I take them up. The only proactive thing I do: keep myself open to all possibilities and people even when I hear bad reviews.

How would I react in times of crisis? I’ve not had much practice. People around me are too kind and unfortunate events seldom befall me. I know I should be meditating seriously as my trained, clear mind is the only thing that can help me in a crisis, but I continue to neglect it. Only a crisis would tell.

Despite the fact that I woke up at 11am

I am so productive!!

Who says freelancers cannot be productive? Huh!

I’ve washed the dishes, hung out the clothes, translated publicity text, edited a proposal and cleared email – without getting distracted!! No wonder my shoulders ache now.

My gosh I am so proud of myself.

I am soo excited about the weekend! CNY is so not over and I’m gonna spend it with some of my favourite people hohoho

Saturday:
Breakfast with sai sai, fang and Camy! It’s been so long!
3pm gathering at PK’s house; just found out that I’m helping with the film selection for the 2012 Buddhist Film Festival and this is a committee gathering of sorts
6pm dinner with Hanyuan, Jalyn, Cell, my sis and Renee!
8.30pm watch 红玫瑰与白玫瑰 with them

Sunday:
Steamboat at Niki’s house with 姐姐妹妹们
大世界 with puppy, his mom, sis and her bf!

好忙啊!!!

 

天命 · 热情 · 人群

金惟纯说,每个人一生中“原本应发生之大事件”,“找到”的三项指标有:

天命所示:每一个时代都有挑战和任务,每一个人都有潜能和天赋,这两者的交集,就是天命所示。

热情所系:一个人做一件事能自然专注,满心欢喜,不累、不悔、不怨、不计较,就是热情所系。

人群所盼:许多人都期待你能把这件事做成,做好,愿意排着队等,还愿意付点钱,当然就是人群所盼。

热情:我可以废寝忘食,昼夜不分,满心欢喜,无怨无悔做的一件事,是摄影。

人群:虽然没人会排队、付钱看我的照片,至少有期待看照片的人。

天命:我目前拍的照对人类没多大贡献,可是如果可以专心捕捉我爱的老街、老区,对保存这些迅速消失的影像可能有小小的贡献。 深入战区、贫民窟拍摄对我来说太遥远了。

不百分百的找到它,决不罢休。 因为不这么做,人生没意思。

off day

今天天气真好 睡到自然醒 醒来读到一则令我雀跃的简讯

有人欣赏我的照片 很开心 我没有积极参加摄影比赛 也没有专业器材

还可以得到这样的认可 太幸运了

知道具体详情后 会告诉各位的!

无所事事的一天 真好

听着陶喆的旧歌 没那么多angst的歌 真好

打印老相机的老操作手册 真好

过一下子就要到家附近吃laksa 真好

我不想改变世界 只想静静生活

Cycling lessons

继Downtown East Gelare 聊天后(噢我们的情路竟同样坎坷!)和亲爱的Dicky到Pasir Ris Park骑脚车,严格来说是生平第二次,又是有惊无险,捡回条小命。

还是没十足把握,看到迎面而来的人、猫、狗,仿佛看到他们头上有个分数牌,顺利经过他们便会得分。脚车20分,滑轮手15分,慢跑者10分,动物5分。最滑稽就是经过一个抱着狗的滑轮手,我大喊“20分!!”

有几次差点遇车祸,好想放个P-plate让全世界避开我,免得杀害无辜。我下次应该穿件印有“ROAD HAZARD – STAY CLEAR” 的荧光色T-shirt.

惊奇,骑脚车这再寻常不过的活动也能给我人生启示。开始时总是最困难,奋力地踩就行了。要注视远方,看好前面的路,保持平衡,才能成功。稍微闪神,都可能酿成大祸。无论如何,都不要因为害怕跌倒而刹车。

很久没有像今天这样畅所欲言了, Dicky好像是唯一能让我这样的人, 想说什么做什么都不必顾虑太多,喜怒哀乐都能自由放飞。谢谢你啊Dicky, 让我的心情像今天天气一样风和日丽。但愿我们每天都开开心心!