我的懵懂

Talking with people who pontificate better than me is the surest way to death.

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别敷衍情绪

你生气吗?不要紧。 你寂寞吗?不要紧。

你空虚吗?不要紧。你很忧郁吗?不要紧。

一切都会过去,我们应该尽情享受这些情绪。

没有悲伤,怎么衬托出快乐?没有寂寞,不寂寞时我们就不会珍惜身边人的陪伴。

细细品味此刻的寂寞/忧郁/ 气愤吧。不要逃避,不要故作坚强,不要袖手旁观。这可能让自己到头来更加脆弱。沉醉在里面吧, 别敷衍它。再多的煎熬,都会过去。没关系,下场雨就当洗涤心灵。

大家最近都有点 under the weather. 让我们一起度过呗!一切将会过去。其实我们微笑时,都最美丽。

Every time I think I might have more spare time on my hands to do real work, Bodhisattvas like Ching Wi will dump assign me with work. Life these days seem to be defined by deadlines.

Watched Lust, Caution. Ticket uncle smiled coyly at me as he tore my tickets. He probably didn’t ask for my IC only because I was with my mum. I am not 16 ARGH!

I think I need to master the art of Saying No in order to free myself from inane appointments. (not referring to CW!) I also need to learn how to print money so I can stop feeling my heart skip a beat whenever I see my account balance. It has plummeted to an all-time low. I can’t really fathom why, since most of my meals outside are paid for by charitable souls. I have also ceased to take any interest in the shopping in Singapore after coming back from BKK. Very, very mysterious.

朋友说我很自我。“没关系的,这是每个人必经的成长过程! ” 她说。真的吗? 那我应该继续“青春”还是该快点长大,不再自我, 变得更通情达理和成熟? 我一直在想。

人不痴狂枉少年。。。 况且,我还能任性多久呢? 再过几年, 我免不了到社会工作。那时的我,还能自我吗? 还能青涩吗?还能任性吗?我想,我还是想抓住青春的尾巴的。

who’s going?

whats with people asking “who’s going?” whenever an outing comes up?

i am perhaps the only living member in TG organising outings so i often get such shitty questions.

i may be overreacting but i feel it’s not very good social practice to keep asking the organiser this taboo question.

it’s quite rude.. especially when i had to send so many smses/find the best date when 8 people can make it/REMIND people of the day/CONFIRM where and when with the super paranoid/etc (often with little or no help)!

having to field extremely irrelevant questions like “who’s going” is kinda like a smack in the face.

are u not going to come when someone else is/isnt going?

will knowing who’s going prepare you psychologically for the gathering?

i just thought of a genius idea- reply “i dont know” when someone asks me this lame question again. If im in a hissy mood i may add : hey why dont u find that out yourself?

when people ask me this question. more questions spin in my head: “oh no, does that mean she isnt going if less than 3 people are coming?” and i start REASSURING people. in some cases i feel coerced to state the reasons why so-and-so isnt coming: “mandy-got work. linda-got tuition.”

so u see, the stress a 2-word question like “who’s going” can inflict upon the poor organiser is unimaginable.

ive got some really decent friends who thank the organiser after an outing. and i feel i must do that too, since i can totally empathise with him. thanking an organiser is just showing you appreciate his/her efforts to bring a group of friends together once or twice a year. it’s not exactly difficult, but they are few and far between.

right now i wana thank zichun, for organising the karaoke outing;
Chin Leng, for organisng YEARLY 6F gatherings no matter rain or shine. I really appreciate you and your family members for doing this every year without asking for any return.  🙂 Hope i can be of help the next gathering!

and Emily! for organising the mini Ocean’s 13 outing for the two of us. Haha..

and Changfang, for helping to ask around for DYB outing that kinda morphed into bassists outing, and zichun doing the honourable job of coordinating.

organising such outings can be really small-scale, but the whole pt is, these people were not obliged to do it! they are not full-time event organisers. they have their own lives to run.

their motivation is simply to bring friends together to catch up and have fun.

Really appreciate and admire those who can do it for years and not needing anything in return.

the more i read and hear about others’ lives (clubbing, shopping, eating, ktv, partying) the more i feel disconnected with them. such feelings are still manifesting, but i hope they dont make me sound or act like a prude.

reasons why i feel disconnected…. i’m too busy for all the above. i think clubbing and partying = debauchery. i think there are better ways we can spend this human life.

vesak celebrations at kong meng san coming up! and guess what, we only have 2 days to chiong it. glorious.

i am completely exhausted.

there are just too many things to remember, too many things to observe. too many sights to take in. i am giddy. it must be the heat.

met lots of cool people, got a lot to learn from them. one of the greatest rewards i got from my involvement there must be the people i met and interacted with. without this, i would be trapped in my shelter, ignorant of so many things.

i am grateful.

pics from Vesak 2551 @ Ngee Ann City… only got pre-event pics though.

pillar-setup.jpg

pillars-setup.jpg

jialat, my hands were shaking, so many blurry pics. HA i took these photos at 3 am! after completing one side of a pillar…..

harp-1.jpgharp-2.jpg

these are my reflections after an outing to the museum with 60 elderly and 30 youths.