back and suffering from a breakout 😦

need to do something about all my enlarged pores, bleh.

unable to see boyboy till tomorrow morning;

feeling a bit sad

am i being childish for feeling sad?

on the first day of my trip i wrote in my diary that i won’t ever go overseas without him

(that’s just impossible)

in the latter half of my trip i didn’t feel as remorseful

but i still missed him terribly.

i just can’t be rational about it although it’s just 7 days!

now i know, LDRs are no fun and no good.

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ENNUI, MY LONGLOST FRIEND

I CAN HARDLY STAND THE POINTLESSNESS OF MY CURRENT WORK

BUT IT WILL PASS, YES IT WILL.

I AM THE MOST INEFFECTUAL, RESOURCE-WASTING BREATHING ORGANISM ON EARTH!

BUT I GUESS BRAINLESSNESS IS GOOD ONCE IN A WHILE, I FINALLY GET TO REST.

MY BRAINS HAVENT GOT ANY USE NOW!! YAY!

AND I’M JUST GONNA FLOAT BRAINLESSLY AROUND, IDLING AND RESTING WHILE

PRETENDING TO DO WORK

LOOK FORWARD TO THE MASSIVE BRAINSTORM TOMORROW WITH THE GUMMERS.

I HOPE MY BRAIN WILL AWAKE FROM ITS COMA IN TIME.

—-

I’ll whine here since it’s so not prim and proper to roar like a lion and tear all my hair out in the office. i am so prim and proper.

my neck is breaking and my shoulders feel like igneous rock. i need a massage sososo badly!! NIKI, CANT WAIT TO GO MELAKA MAN!!

it’s interesting how kms gives me high-level work to do almost as soon as i entered, but i’m made to do data entry here. my potential is not utilised, much less stretched; but i don’t think i should complain – i miss the lightness, the irresponsibility (?) that comes with an unimportant/minor role.

SO WHY THE HELL AM I WHINING HERE!?

my butt has been planted in my seat for the past 5000 hours, how i miss being driven like a slave. HAHA.

the only reason why i’ve not gone home is that i’m gonna attend a North Korean documentary screening and talk by the producer.

i’m hungry and i don’t know what i should have for dinner.

I know the world’s so big and I’m so small…

but i really wish to rant (aka magnify my minuscule, insignificant problems 1000 times even when I know this is a waste of whatever little time i have left):

  1. It’s so tiring having to console others and give them advice when I need help myself. I feel like I’m imposing on others if I whine to them. And I dont give good advice at all…. my life experience is too shallow. I am 泥菩萨过江,自身难保!! I might appear mature/independent/strong, but i am not infallible okay! I have my vulnerable side too.. *sob*
  2. 有谁能够聆听 + 听懂我的烦恼呢? 我是不是应该把烦恼一并深埋在心,让它自生自灭就好。这样,谁都不会被打扰。。。 我外表坚强,可是偶尔也需要一个能依靠的肩膀,让我停下来靠靠。
  3. Is there a need to keep secrets for those who trivialise yours? My friends dished them out like party bonbons (at a party, no less) and I felt I should be angry at them, even though the “secret” was really something they constructed out of nothing. I still am keeping secrets and giving free counselling to them at the point of writing this. (I really should charge friends who seek advice from me! It should be quite lucrative.) They said sorry but what’s the use? Am I being oversensitive?
  4. I HAVE AN EXAM PLUS ASSIGNMENT DEADLINE ON SATURDAY BUT I HAVE HARDLY STARTED WORK. What was I doing for the past few weeks?! I am bledy, bledy screwed……

[EDIT] In order to balance out this post of bad vibes, a list of things I’m grateful for:

  1. my 孩子缘。 A cute little girl saw a balloon lying around at Pasir Ris interchange and she picked it up to give me! She must’ve thought it was mine. Aww so cute. And my neighbour’s kid suddenly seemed friendlier to me on that same day.
  2. wonderful friends like Linda. LOVE YOU TO BITS! Hope you enjoyed your birthday party! I enjoyed myself, save for the kenna teased bit, bleh. Hope you like the guestbook we did!
  3. Dicky and Wa.. thanks for remembering me while you were in the U.S.! I’ll try to use your *ahem* presents…..

Why aren’t kids made from Play-doh?

I might be an anti-men (generally) and anti-marriage bigot, but I do love kids from the bottom of my poor heart. The fact that men and marriage are the only politically-correct requisites for having kids of my own (apart from a working reproductive system, of course) pains me.

On a happier note, Thai kids have such funky hairstyles. And I so love their stubby little arms, fat little legs, bright little eyes and chubby little cheeks. They loll around pavements on their little diaper-wrapped bottoms, watched lovingly by proud parents and envious, cooing strangers. I have not seen a single Thai kid with a PSP/Nintendo in hand and am determined never to buy one of those malicious gadgets for my kid. Kids should run on the grass and play in the mud, not stare spellbound into cold, isolating, life-sapping machines.

*Aww* Fat little ball of joy! Spotted: Jatujak Market, Krungtheb.

We saw such a lot of cute children’s clothes; so much so that we started to toy with the ‘buy now, give birth later’ idea. I’m glad sanity prevailed. But the fact that my father has already gleefully reserved household items for “his grandchildren’s use” remains. The fear that I won’t be able to fulfill my parents’ wishes for “as many grandchildren as possible” is starting to haunt, even when I am (an anti-men, anti-marriage bigot) aged just 21.

Essay test questions

  1. Compare and contrast the role of reason in relation to the good life as expressed in Plato’s Philebus and Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics.
  2. Compare and contrast the role of pleasure in relation to the good life as expressed in Plato’s Philebus and Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics.
  3. What is the importance of harmony and balance in relation to the good life as expressed in Plato’s Philebus and Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics?

There must be an easier way to kill me, there must be.

I’m feeling such intense feelings of paralysis by analysis I won’t wish to talk after the end of every class. I’d just tune out, or tune in to my Samsung T10, a most chio mp3 player gifted by the DYBians.

I’m also feeling the need/want to lie fallow.

You don’t know how much I admire people who can draw well. Why?!! Why are they so lihai?

Really admire them. I wish I could be like them. I don’t know why I’m so fascinated by these artists around me… but it’s just so magical watching them create works of art from nothing!

I wish I could be like them. 😦

鸭子

鸭子在游泳, 悠哉闲哉。 水面下,却是另一片风景。

鸭子的掌死命地来回划, 划出了泡泡,很多泡泡。

快不行了, 它还是故作安逸的在水上游来游去。

我就是那只鸭子。