不喝的牛奶

不去寻觅,强求的东西, 一旦降临, 肯定是美丽、可爱的惊喜。

牛奶都没人喝了, 还不赶快倒掉,会变酸、发臭的。

女孩与一块冰的故事

房间很空,没灯。阳光从方形小窗弱弱的洒入。 女孩坐在凳子上, 桌上有杯水, 水里有块冰。

女孩看冰,越看越喜欢。

继续阅读

for when u wanna feel emo

白月光 心里某个地方 那么亮 却那么冰凉
每个人 都有一段悲伤 想隐藏 却欲盖弥彰
白月光 照天涯的两端 在心上 却不在身旁
擦不干 你当时的泪光 路太长 追不回原谅
你是我 不能言说的伤 想以往 又忍不住回想
想流亡 一路跌跌撞撞 你的捆绑 无法释放

白月光 照天涯的两端 月越满 越觉得孤单
擦不干 回忆里的泪光 路太长 怎么补偿
你是我 不能言说的伤 想以往 又忍不住回想
想流亡 一路跌跌撞撞 你的捆绑 无法释放
白月光 心里某个地方 那么亮 却那么冰凉
每个人 都有一段悲伤 想隐藏 却在生长

对不起, 我只爱自己

还是早日了断 这种酝酿中的关系

让它云淡风轻

别怪我无情 别每天传简讯 别对我太贴心

你的关心 我实在受不起

我只有一句”对不起, 我只爱自己”

自私得可以 我怎么也不想取悦你

对你的行踪和喜好 没多大兴趣

不是耍你 也没故弄玄虚

只是我太爱自己

别再玩下去

我玩不起 我没力气 我不想伤害你

点到为止吧 大家别伤和气

你精心的设计 我全都心领

希望你也多爱自己

~~~

献给C君,虽然他毫不知情

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你是我心中那一现的昙花

你是我心中那一现的昙花

美丽无比 举世闻名

世人称羡的瑰丽

小心翼翼 捧在手里

多怕你飞出去

我的情绪在你手里

刮风下雨 我都依你

太多的叛逆 风云崛起

我后悔莫及

现在只能谢谢你

让我有彩色回忆

全刻心里

不会忘记 很难忘记

在你之后 碰不到奇迹

爱情几乎绝迹

你是我心中那一现的昙花

花开时美丽 凋谢后

我才发现 一切已过去

你真的离我而去

~~~

昙花,昙花属,是仙人掌科植物,原产于南非、墨西哥等地区,是属于热带沙漠里的旱生性植物。茎扁柱形,是和茎三角柱形量天尺区别的关键特征。花大型,盛开时如碗口大,生于叶状枝的边缘,花重瓣、纯白色,花瓣披针形,晚间开放,至次日早凋谢。开花时长4,5个小时,因此用昙花一现来形容时间很短、稍纵即逝的机遇。

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献给你, 有点不真实的你

one bad seed has ripened!

one of my (many) bad karmic seeds ripened this morning. it made me bitter and vengeful the whole day. was struggling to contain my anger so it wouldnt affect others.

i didnt really realise i was feeling so vengeful until later in the day. i thought about the incident every time i was left alone, and conjured up (pointless) refutations in my head. i so wanted justice.

and then, while i was washing my hands in the washroom a fleeting thought crossed my mind. that guy, like everyone else, wants happiness. i could perhaps put myself in his shoes.
i had been right, not to give in (paradoxically) and argue with him.  it won’t be very constructive. (actually, i did say one sentence to defend myself but he didnt really bother to acknowledge it so why waste my breath) so i kept silent.

rather than sow more seeds of enmity between he and I, i should forgive him and perceive him with no preconception. after all, my feelings of indignation arose all out of pride and ego.   (that’s what i know i should do, but actually doing it is.. hmm… another thing altogether.) and then, i remembered that such bad experiences do not arise out of nothing. there’s always a cause. where and when i sowed a bad karmic seed, i do not know. it doesnt help to know. but it helps that i do not sow more. i held back.

hopefully, we wont be caught in a vicious cycle. i have seen how stifling it can be to work in a tense environment.

i had very much wanted to tell other people (colleagues, family) about this “terrible guy who ruined my day.” but no, it seems that feelings of enmity dont cease but increase more when i rant about it to others. and it’s going to ruin others’ impression of him. 人言可畏啊!make or break, it’s all in our hands.

hmm and now i suddenly realise, i should be thankful to this guy. he reminded me of how attached i am to my pride. his actions made me reflect on the dharma. he reminded me to be more mindful of my emotions. there’s no better teacher than “terrible people who ruin my day”!

i am going to pay 150% attention to my emotions tomorrow.  see how it goes. will i be able to let go of my negative feelings?

忙得开心

p1030456.JPG Deborah and I!

Deborah’s from shanghai and we’re on similar (if not, same) frequencies. 有缘千里来相会! hahaha… but i fear i wont be able to go Bangkok with her later this year cos of KMS internship. and Yucks, we were told our holiday is only gonna be 3-4 weeks long!!!! Horror! How then am I supposed to go KMS? Pls make it longer….

 wah i think xanga is 100 times better in terms of upload speed and image management! much easier to use. much more space too!

oh man.. just when im beginning to like the skin and add blogs to my blog roll…..No~~

Very restful day at home today.  Went for tuition, ate lunch, sleep like pig, sweep floor and sweat like pig. Yes thats my idea of restful.

 Tmr’s gonna be even better! woohoo.

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 That’s Li Shan and i! Deborah, Li shan and I are all water sign: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces respectively. hoho. i do think there’s a certain degree of truth in horoscopes, esp in character analysis.

Stayed up till 3 am (despite my very xiong schedule) to make Emily’s bday present! and how can i forget to photograph it!! Was zichun’s idea to make her a guestbook of sorts, so guests at her bday party can sign it. Very amateurish but still hope she likes it!

bday presents are starting to lose their meaning with every year I age. Regretfully, I do not enjoy receiving most presents .. either I dont like, or no use. So just gimme a card this year, people!

And it’s 母难日 (the day which your mother suffered most) so not very nice to commemorate this day by indulging in wine and dine and basking in the limelight la hor. That’s of course a guideline for myself, not to be imposed on or expected of others!

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 Yay emily likes her present!

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all the dyb people present. my gawd my forehead is so shiny! and it’s permanently shiny i duno what to do! Shiny even after i wash face. Help! And i have browned considerably, after leading a much more active life wahaha.. not the same old couch potato!!

Speaking of which, my mum has just subscribed to STARHUB CABLE!!!! But I doubt that’s gonna benefit me much, since i wont have the time to watch all the superb shows..sob.

I think im gonna fall sick soon, had lots and lots of unhealthy food! Emily’s party food is the best of its kind! So sinful..  i had beehoon, curry chicken, corn, otak, potato salad, coleslaw, prawns, pork chop…. all yum!

but i do feel quite guilty cos i indulged in non-vegetarian food.. it’s great working at KMS cos everything’s vegetarian. and it’s NICE veg food! Not like those sold outside, oily and unhealthy and mock-meatish.

I’m increasingly aware that the body is indeed a burden. have been taught, but couldnt really understand. 没有身体,何来病痛?何来人与人之间的区分和分歧?(肤色,高矮肥瘦, 容貌之分)可是没有身体又不行。So we cant be too attached to our body. since i’ve observed the very real possibility of me falling sick, i should refrain from subjecting myself to conditions that may make it a reality. which means i musnt stay up late! oh dear..haven do lotsa stuff leh.

am still wondering if i shd just stick to xanga, cos im not v impressed with wordpress’ image management.